Cancer Sucks....Update

I'm fed up with this cancer, I want to kick its ass, HARD! My mom is doing an amazing job at it but she's 100lbs and doesn't have much strength. I would transfer her cancer in to my body ANY DAY!! I've looked into lung transplants, I have healthy lungs, take one!!!! But no....since those little toxic cancer cells have escaped their new found home, that they are unwelcome at, and have invaded her brain, they are unable to take my lung and put it into her body. The success rate would be terrible. The odds that my lung would also get cancer are extremely great. But if it gives her a few more years I would be more than happy to give her my lung. I am determined to find a Dr. that will even entertain the idea.

But anyway....Mom went to the Dr. last week for her normal chemo treatment and met with the Dr. because she has a really bad cough and was throwing up blood. Her CAT scan showed thickening of her lung lining and another small type of mass on the lower portion of her lung. The original scum sucking tumor is on the upper portion of the lung. The Dr. believed that she had some type of infection but wasn't sure what it was. So no chemo for mom this week. Which, by the way, she is still going every 3 weeks....for the last 2 years!!!! She has never missed a chemo treatment. They wanted to move her to once a week but we didnt feel that her body could handle that. And when you get such a long, high dosage of chemotherapy it's going to create certain side effects. Right now my mother is losing her ability to walk up stairs. Not only because she can't breathe well but because her legs are just not working anymore. She is much slower in her walking and fell up the stairs yesterday. She is also forgetting alot of things. I'm worried that these are side effects of a tumor leaning the portions of the brain that control her movement and thought process. But it could just be a side effect from the drugs.

So all in all....this sucks. I've done ENDLESS amount of research and it's not getting me anywhere. I believe that my mother has gotten this far because of her relationship with my daughter. They are best friends. So we can just pray every day that she gets another day and maybe she can withstand this chemo for a longer period of time. <3

Almost 2 years....

We are reaching the two year mark on mom's diagnosis. She, by far, is the strongest most amazing woman I have ever met in my life. So here is an update that I have neglected to keep on top of.

 

One of my mom's favorite songs :)

This has been a struggle lately. Her body stopped responding to the Avastin, which is the King of chemo drugs for lung cancer. She did excellent on that drug for over a year, but her body built up an immunity to it. So we moved on to the next drug. Mom handled Avastin with hardly any side effects. Her hair grew back from the whole brain radiation. But then we had to change to the next step down cocktail of chemo drugs....side effects....not so great. She has lost her hair again and her blood count drops 8 days after every round (every 3 weeks) and she is open to any type of illness at that point. She has lost more weight. The tumor has slightly grown twice since the new chemo has started. The Dr. wanted to change her to doing chemo once a week but with these side effects, Mom doesn't believe that she can handle that dosage every week. Sleep is few and far between. But NONE of this stops her. Every Sunday she takes Madison shopping and still plays cards twice a week. SHE is amazing, SHE is a superhero, SHE is a true BEAST!! Even though I wish she would stop being so stubborn and let us help her more, she still is unbelievable.

In a few weeks she is taking a relaxing week trip to Daytona Beach to sit and relax on the beach with her best friend. A much needed trip in our opinion :) And we hope she has an amazing time!!

 

In the process of learning this for my mom's cd :)

Happy Birthday!!

 

That photo was taken in January 2011 for my mother's birthday....and now here we are, January 2012 about to celebrate another birthday. Who would have thought that someone would be so excited to get another year older?? I know I am! 

Mom is doing awesome. She's not wearing her wig anymore, although she HATES the way that her hair is growing back in, I think it's beautiful. And everyday Madison points out that it has grown a little more. "Grammie your hair is growing", "Grammie your hair is coming back". This child notices everything about her Grammie. 

She is still going to her chemo appointments every 3 weeks and doing it like a champion. She is still getting the CAT scans and  MRI's after about every 3 treatments. And her Dr. has finally come to terms with the fact that I will beat him to that report every time. It's usually in my hand before the hospital even has a chance to fax it over :).  I bring it back to work with me and google and webmd every term in there, although I've pretty much learned them over time. There is not much change in her tumor, which is a good thing. Although scoliosis has recently set in.

She is NOT going to give up, give in, let go....however you want to say it....she is the strongest woman I know.  

I did meet an amazing Dr. at the Westport Lungevity 5k Run that had recently transferred to Yale. There was a man at the run who has had the same type of cancer and has survived 8 years....EIGHT years! I know everyone's case is different but there is no false hope here, you don't know anything until you try. Now....getting my mother to this Dr....that's going to be a difficult try all on it's own lol. As most of you know she is a very strong headed woman a.k.a. stubborn! I know she is tired of seeing Dr.'s and is comfortable with her current Dr. but I overrule her and will eventually get her into see Dr. Herbst. He is an expert in personalized therapy of non-small cell lung cancer, in particular the process of linking genetic abnormalities of cancer cells to certain therapies. Imagine a Dr. making each individual cancer patient their own personalized therapy!? We NEED this man in our lives :)

This year has brought many challenges to our family. But those challenges that we all face are overcome by us all. As many flaws as this small family may have, you CANNOT and WILL NOT break us down. We love our mother and Grammie very much and will do anything for her. So this weekend she will enjoy herself at the casino with her children and I bet she will love every second of it! <3

Happy Birthday Mom!

Celebrating One Year Fighting Lung Cancer!!

Bracelets worn by Madison that we had made for Grammie to celebrate her one year battle with lung cancer. On the inside it reads "In Honor or Grammie" :)

A Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogic and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow. Do good anyway.
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you have anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

(Engraved on the wall of Mother Theresa's home for children in Calcutta-English Translation)

Luckily my mother has always done ALL of these things, no matter what people think or say about her. She is the most amazing woman I know! <3

ONE YEAR STRONG!!

I know I haven't blogged over the fast few months but it's been extremely hectic.
But today marks the one year mark of when my mother went to the emergency room and within a week was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer. And the best way that I can sum up this past year is....Cancer has messed with the WRONG woman!! :)
My mom has done an amazing job at living with this disease. She has always been a strong person so I can't even say that this has made her stronger. She has handled this like it's any other day. She hasn't had any set backs and continues to keep this cancer right where it is. The tumor was found in her lung with 3 small tumors in her brain. Since then, the tumor remains in her lung, mostly at the same size and the brain tumors are GONE! There are two small marks still showing up on the MRI but the Dr. believes them to be scar tissue. She continues with her chemo treatments every 3 weeks.
In the past 4 months Madison and I have moved in with my mother. Madison LOVES every second of it (but I think my mom loves it more). She wakes up in the morning and tries to beat me down the stairs to steal all of Grammie's french toast. Grammie reads her a book before bed and then Madison reads it to Grammie. I believe that they are each others rocks.
I am SO proud of my mother. I only wish that I could be as strong and motivated as she is. She has lived every day as if nothing has changed. Since I went back to work I feel that I'm not as involved as I want to be with her Dr.'s. They unfortunately know me on a first name basis, along with the nurses in the hosptial that I harass for all of her reports. But that doesn't bother me one bit :P. I continue to do my research on new drugs and treatments that are out there, but she is doing really well just where she is.
I hope and pray that things will continue to go this well. I know there is no cure for this disease but I also know that my mother has NEVER been one to give up, EVER! And she will continue to fight this with every ounce of her being.
I recently got a tattoo on my back for my mother. It's a heart with wings and within that heart are mechanical gears. That is my mothers heart....an incredible machine!

One song can say it all....