Happy Birthday!!

 

That photo was taken in January 2011 for my mother's birthday....and now here we are, January 2012 about to celebrate another birthday. Who would have thought that someone would be so excited to get another year older?? I know I am! 

Mom is doing awesome. She's not wearing her wig anymore, although she HATES the way that her hair is growing back in, I think it's beautiful. And everyday Madison points out that it has grown a little more. "Grammie your hair is growing", "Grammie your hair is coming back". This child notices everything about her Grammie. 

She is still going to her chemo appointments every 3 weeks and doing it like a champion. She is still getting the CAT scans and  MRI's after about every 3 treatments. And her Dr. has finally come to terms with the fact that I will beat him to that report every time. It's usually in my hand before the hospital even has a chance to fax it over :).  I bring it back to work with me and google and webmd every term in there, although I've pretty much learned them over time. There is not much change in her tumor, which is a good thing. Although scoliosis has recently set in.

She is NOT going to give up, give in, let go....however you want to say it....she is the strongest woman I know.  

I did meet an amazing Dr. at the Westport Lungevity 5k Run that had recently transferred to Yale. There was a man at the run who has had the same type of cancer and has survived 8 years....EIGHT years! I know everyone's case is different but there is no false hope here, you don't know anything until you try. Now....getting my mother to this Dr....that's going to be a difficult try all on it's own lol. As most of you know she is a very strong headed woman a.k.a. stubborn! I know she is tired of seeing Dr.'s and is comfortable with her current Dr. but I overrule her and will eventually get her into see Dr. Herbst. He is an expert in personalized therapy of non-small cell lung cancer, in particular the process of linking genetic abnormalities of cancer cells to certain therapies. Imagine a Dr. making each individual cancer patient their own personalized therapy!? We NEED this man in our lives :)

This year has brought many challenges to our family. But those challenges that we all face are overcome by us all. As many flaws as this small family may have, you CANNOT and WILL NOT break us down. We love our mother and Grammie very much and will do anything for her. So this weekend she will enjoy herself at the casino with her children and I bet she will love every second of it! <3

Happy Birthday Mom!

Celebrating One Year Fighting Lung Cancer!!

Bracelets worn by Madison that we had made for Grammie to celebrate her one year battle with lung cancer. On the inside it reads "In Honor or Grammie" :)

A Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogic and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow. Do good anyway.
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best you have anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

(Engraved on the wall of Mother Theresa's home for children in Calcutta-English Translation)

Luckily my mother has always done ALL of these things, no matter what people think or say about her. She is the most amazing woman I know! <3

ONE YEAR STRONG!!

I know I haven't blogged over the fast few months but it's been extremely hectic.
But today marks the one year mark of when my mother went to the emergency room and within a week was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer. And the best way that I can sum up this past year is....Cancer has messed with the WRONG woman!! :)
My mom has done an amazing job at living with this disease. She has always been a strong person so I can't even say that this has made her stronger. She has handled this like it's any other day. She hasn't had any set backs and continues to keep this cancer right where it is. The tumor was found in her lung with 3 small tumors in her brain. Since then, the tumor remains in her lung, mostly at the same size and the brain tumors are GONE! There are two small marks still showing up on the MRI but the Dr. believes them to be scar tissue. She continues with her chemo treatments every 3 weeks.
In the past 4 months Madison and I have moved in with my mother. Madison LOVES every second of it (but I think my mom loves it more). She wakes up in the morning and tries to beat me down the stairs to steal all of Grammie's french toast. Grammie reads her a book before bed and then Madison reads it to Grammie. I believe that they are each others rocks.
I am SO proud of my mother. I only wish that I could be as strong and motivated as she is. She has lived every day as if nothing has changed. Since I went back to work I feel that I'm not as involved as I want to be with her Dr.'s. They unfortunately know me on a first name basis, along with the nurses in the hosptial that I harass for all of her reports. But that doesn't bother me one bit :P. I continue to do my research on new drugs and treatments that are out there, but she is doing really well just where she is.
I hope and pray that things will continue to go this well. I know there is no cure for this disease but I also know that my mother has NEVER been one to give up, EVER! And she will continue to fight this with every ounce of her being.
I recently got a tattoo on my back for my mother. It's a heart with wings and within that heart are mechanical gears. That is my mothers heart....an incredible machine!

One song can say it all....

It's just hair....

Wednesday was Mom's first day of chemotherapy. It was also the first day that she called me and said that her hair was falling out everywhere. I sat with her, along with Mary, and waited two hours for those drugs to drip slowly into her. But these are the drugs that will extend her life, so two hours??? Who cares!! Mary knited her new scarf while we all talked and mom red her magazine. It was a little bit surreal....was this really happening??

But she felt good, they started with an anti-nausea medication and then the two drugs that the chemo consisted of, one lasting about 15 minutes and the other about 2 hours.  She did great!

So after I left the cancer center, I went to pick up Madison and go to the wig shop in Waterbury to pick up a few head wraps. Mom wanted them to catch the hair while it fell out. So Madison helped me pick out a black one and a really pretty white one with blue flowers....her favorite. So Mom went to work that day, like the amazing trooper that she is, and we brought her the scarves.


The 28th was Carrie's birthday. So Mary came to the house and shaved Mom's head so she could wear her wig. Which by the way, looks amazing :) We all had lunch as a family and Mom went to work, as usual.

Today was different, since Madison slept over her cousins house, I slept in. Mom called me at 10am wondering why I hadn't called her yet. She wanted to know what she can drink besides ginger ale and water, she was thirsty for something with flavor. She sounded great. But Shannon called me a few hours later and asked me to sleep over Mom's house, she said she sounded really tired and run down. Which....the nurses said would happen within a day or two. But after calling her several times throughout the day she insisted that I not sleep over and that she was just a little tired and was fine....typical of my mother. 

So I sit here and wonder how she will be tomorrow. She needs to rest but insists on being the strong woman that she is and go go go. And I thank her for making me be the strong woman that I am today. 

So now we wait....for the next radiology appointment, the next oncologist appointment, the next test to tell us that this is working. But in the mean time, we enjoy what we have. Madison can't wait to visit Grammie in her mermaid costume for Halloween!! :)